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Please send your questions about sex, relationships and other sexual health issues to misswetmore.
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In Miss Wetmore’s Opinion…

Getting frank, thoughtful, queer sex & relationship advice is tough to find these days. It’s even tougher if you are kinda switching around pronouns constantly (or making them up) to adapt to hetero advice. New to GenderCrash.com, Miss Wetmore serves it up straight. Well, crooked, but with your perfectly-normally-bent sexual health and well being in mind.

March 2006

Miss Wetmore’s Sex Toy Buying Guide!

The adult industry boasts the biggest billion dollar business that ‘nobody admits to knowing about’. With all the options, it can be overwhelming to actually pick out a plaything to get intimate with. One thing you should remember is that if you are already open to using toys, then you’re ahead of the game. Often folks fear that toys are meant to replace other humans and potential or existing relationships. Of course toys cannot replace people (yet). I know you are just trying to protect that precious sweetie’s self esteem, but isn’t your orgasmic elevation more important? I jest, but really toys can improve sex with yourself and with partners.

Enjoy the list of suggestions below. Even if you are not buying right now, browse these amazing resourceful sites for sexy ideas and wish lists. If you just want to learn more about all the toys out there, check out Sex Toys 101 from the great women at Babeland.com

For a basic toy that gives you a range of options, I recommend the waterproof Velvet Vibe from Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis, MN. This vibrator has a soft feel on the outside, but is hard plastic underneath for a strong range of vibrations. It is slim enough to be comfortably used vaginally, but long enough to entertain lots of happy vulva on the outside. The controller at the base allows you to increase or decrease vibrations for lots of options. Keep in mind this toy is not butt safe, because there is no flared base for excited sphincter muscles to pull against.

For great anal play, try the Pro Touch vibe. This toy is made of high-quality silicone, boasts a removable vibrator, and can be used vaginally or anally for lots of good memories. Try gently massaging the anus on the outside for a very relaxing experience.
The great thing about Smitten Kitten is that all of their products are made of high-quality, safe materials. The staff is well-versed on healthy sexuality tips and toy usage, and they do not sell jelly rubber products, which can easily pass along bacteria. But don’t take my word for it… Just ask the great people there for more important info.
Check out www.smittenkittenonline.com

The helpful owner of Chicago’s best sex shop, Early to Bed, recommends Insatiable G as a winner of a g-spot vibrator. This whammy of a toy provides lots of stimulation, with an internal g spot dil, a soft, textured vibrator for the clit and five different kinds of vibration to choose from. It is made from silicone, which is a top material for its ability to be sterilized and long-lasting performance. Check it out at www.early2bed.com and see what other fun goodies you come across.

Now if you are looking for a hot way to strap down your partner(s), I recommend the detachable Grip Cuffs from Leather by Danny. These handy restraints are hand made of high quality leather and hardware. The design of Grip Cuffs allows someone restrained to flex their wrists and grip something, preventing discomfort in hands and wrists. The detachable version allows you to clip the cuffs and grips to a surface, or detach the cuffs so that they can be worn individually. See more details at www.leatherbydanny.com and note the fine beauty of many different leathers. (*editor's note - GenderCrash.com highly recommends Leather By Danny Products!)

If you live in the Boston area, there is a new option for women/queer/trans-friendly sex toys, books and more. Good Vibrations, the mothership of all good sex shops just opened their first East Coast store in Brookline at 308 Harvard St. The people are friendly and the store is a great place to buy toys, get safer sex supplies or browse some yummy books in a quiet, relaxing space. Also be sure to check out the lovely collection of antique vibrators. See what your matriarchs used! For details, see www.goodvibrations.com

If you live in New Mexico or have friends who do, there will be a fabulous new store called Self Serve opening in Albuquerque in Fall 2006. Email Miss Wetmore for details or to say hello…. You may be neighbors soon!

For any other more detailed sex toy inquiries, feel free to ask. Miss Wetmore is unfortunately addicted to sex toys and is happy to share feedback and learn of new technological developments in the field…

About Miss Wetmore

Ms. Wetmore survived being raised in suburban New Jersey and now resides in the Bay Gay State of Massachusetts. Through many experiences as straight-but-not-narrow, bisexual, gay and queer, she knows first hand the fluidity of sexual identities and identities of sexual fluids. As a sexuality educator for years, she resents that radicals include sex ed as part of the “homosexual agenda” when clearly it is queer- and trans-inclusive. Please send your questions about sex, relationships and other sexual health issues to misswetmore.